How I Spent My Summer Vacation

I went to the doctors yesterday. She was running behind so my wait in the waiting room was about an hour. Last Saturday when I got the mail I had three get well cards from friends from work who became my friends out side of work. As I opened them one by one I started to cry. In one of them they had put a pink bracelet with the word SURVIVOR. Their kindness and concern touched me deeply. The ones who didn't send cards called me and wished me the best, some even came to the hospital to see me. Toni thanks for putting lip balm on my lips when I couldn't move my arms at all and coming to my house and washing my hair. I love you. A friend in need is a friend indeed.

I even got a very cute post card from a very wonderful person this week! Thank you!

As I am waiting a young girl comes in and sits down next to me. She reminds me of my daughter Ricki. She has on the same bandanna that Ricki wore when she was bald and she had it tied the same way with the tip tucked in the back...white and black bandanna. She says so your a SURVIVOR. She saw my bracelet. I said no I'm not. You have to be cancer free for 5 years before you can be a SURVIVOR. She laughed. I asked her how old she was. She replied 25. She is done with Chemo and is now going to have both her breast removed and re-construction at the same time. I told her I just went through that and showed her my new boobs. She laughed again and said very nice. I told her DR. Melissa is the best! She asked me about the pain, did it hurt much? I said the emotional pain is worse then the physical pain, for me anyway. They called her name and her and her mom walked away.

Brief encounters can touch your heart deeply.

I'm taking pain pills because the pain at the surgery sight under my arms is still very painful and I have things to do that require me using my arms.

I didn't sleep well last night because I have to sleep flat on my back, on my sides is just to painful. Why am I writing this? Because I smile a lot and I laugh a lot and I have an exterior way of acting because if I act it I will be it, happy. I am really trying to make the best of my life and to be happy but sometimes it just gets really hard to smile and laugh. I go back to the DR.'s September 18, 2008. I have to have another MRI in November, November is when I was diagnosed, to see that the cancer hasn't metastasized anywhere else. You see I never have to have another mammogram and that's good but once a year I have to have an MRI to check and see if cancer has come back anywhere in my chest area, neck and head area. Usually if breast cancer metastasized it comes back in the brain, so if you see me doing something strange like wearing underwear on my head to work just take me aside and say Houston we have a problem... And I will deal with it the best way I can with a smile.

I finished my first oil painting today. I'm calling it Amy's Darkness

I am also working on a quilt for my new grand- daughter . I haven't sewed in ages and I am enjoying this. My son bummed me out with a phone call telling me that his kid didn't matter to me. It hurt me. You see before I got cancer I told him I would come out and help but then my life was turned upside down and now he and his wife are mad at me for not coming out. He is a spoiled brat and I am hoping he will get over it when he gets the quilt.