Tuesday, January 26, 2010

My BooBoo

My BooBoo and her dog Pablo
I miss her so much.

My God

Oh my God it has been a long time since I have been here. I have missed it. I wasn't sure I would remember my password and was thoroughly delighted when it opened for me the door to here.

I am depressed. It has been a long while. When I am depressed I come here and let it all out.

I am going through a rough patch. I know I will get to the other side but it is how well I will walk through the fire. I am emotionally starving. What feeds my spirit?, I am learning. My children feed my spirit. So just by those statements you know why I am starving. I have one child who feeds me and lifts me but it is not enough. It is never enough. So what can I do? What do I always do? I adopt children who are not mine and I make them mine. Like Sarah and Toni from work. I always adjust.

This Gastric Bypass isn't going the way I planned. But today I woke up and I knew it was me. It's always been me who gets in the way of my own success. Why do I set myself up to fail? Why? I know full well what I have to do. And today I started. I started. Just get me through today. I will worry about tomorrow...tomorrow.