Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Coming in on August 2014

I love my blog. It holds a lot of my past. My love, my happiness. my grief over my daughter's death, my cancer, my surgeries...it holds a lot of me and when I am gone and floating on the breeze it will still be here somewhere in cyber space. The world in which we live.

So many emotions held in a screen and key board. How sad is my life that I spent most of my time here or there? Not too sad. I have met some wonderful people over the years. Still friends through how many new computers? I have lost count. Now I have my lap top which Mr. McLeod is not allowed on. That was a lesson learned over and over the hard way. So much happier with my lap top. MINE. Nothing on here but what I want. If you are married I would highly recommend you each have your own computers. It will save you many fights. I should have done this years ago. Years.

I am back today because some how this always feels like home. I can be gone for years and I come back and it's like I never left.

This is that hard week for me. Although after 13 years it is easier. Gentler. August 8, her birthday. August 11th her death date. I text her baby sister Boo in Kauai, Hawaii, that late Thursday night a hurricane is headed her way according to the news. I told her that is no hurricane, it was going to be Ricki blowing in on her birthday to say hi to her Nanny. She always called her Nanny not Boo like the rest of us. Hurricane Ricki, like how she lived and died and left me here to pick up the pieces...

I love you. I love you. I love you.