Thursday, August 14, 2008

My Thoughts This Fine August Morning...

I have heard this several times in my life time...if you can make it through the seven year mark in a marriage the rest is down hill. If Bruce lives through this seventh year of marriage he will truly be a blessed man. What the hell happens to a man after six years of being the most wonderful husband? Why in the seventh year does he turn into a complete perfect asshole?

I'm just starting to get over the computer thing when this morning I am sound a sleep and Bruce sits by my head butt naked and farts. He starts laughing and being so rudely awakened I'm saying "Jesus Christ" I roll over and mumble "I remember a time when you treated me with more respect." He asked "What did you say?" I replied "Nothing."

He leaves the room. I am so glad he works first shift and I work second because if I had to spend anymore time with him right now I might rip his face off. He is so getting on my last nerve like pig shit on my new boots.

This bad behavior started when our sex life resumed. When I started to really feel better. My shoulders no longer hurt from bra straps. I have no fat rolls under my arms, sleek and smooth. I stand up straighter. I'm just feeling really good now, better then I have in a long, long time.

Now I have to tell the rest of the story. JackieSue and BuddhaGirl know this part already but no one else does so here it goes...

In a few short weeks I am having a micro gastric by-pass. Dr. Kuhn is my doctor for this. I have had to go to classes to learn how to eat 6 meals a day. Every two hours. I have gone to countless meetings and had a zillion appointments with a nutritionist. The thing is I am the smallest person this doctor has done one of these on. He's doing it to cure my type 2 diabetes. I am having a real problem with my blood sugar. Since the breast cancer it has been running in the 200 hundreds. Doc thinks this will cure it and I will be off diabetes meds before I leave the hospital. Last Friday I was cleared to have surgery. I should get a date any day now. The only thing he worried about is the weight loss...because I am not morbidly obese I could lose too much weight. I don't care I just want this diabetes to go away. I will be so happy, no more meds and checking my sugars ever!

The other thing is my insurance has okayed it and they have okayed the tummy tuck afterwards. I didn't even ask for the tummy tuck, my doctor is the one who told me. So Doc Melissa who did my new boobs is doing the tummy tuck, she will at the same time do my new nipples with the skin she takes for the tuck.

I think Bruce is acting up because I will be a new woman. Firm boobs, flat tummy. I think this worries him. It worries me. But I'm not acting like an ass yet so he shouldn't either. Because I tell ya if he keeps this shit up it will deteriorate pretty fast. Every time he does something my respect for him wanes. And when you lose the respect you got nothing.

Another thing is as soon as my hospital affiliates with someone our assets will be un frozen and I will be able to collect my money in the retirement fund and I am leaving here. The program they set up for us (per Diem people) because we get no benefits was 2005 they set aside $3000.00 to start, for every 1000 hours you worked they matched that with another $3000.00. So now it's 2008 and I have some money there.

Bruce has told me for the last seven years he would move to Minnesota with me. He has always said it but never shown anything like saving for it, to me. Then with the selling of his motorcycle and he just blew the money when he said he would give it to me to go home...well that spoke volumes to me. So I think he knows after my surgeries are done I am so out of here...and this scares him. The man hates change.

Me being strong again is a change...

The picture is of my home town, Duluth, Minnesota. Sitting on the tip of Lake Superior. Home of the Great Iron Ore Docks. Take me home country roads, take me home...


Allan said...

I get the impression that "strong" is your default setting. I hope Bruce pulls it together.That fart thing?...sheeesh. Dude.

Anonymous said...

I have no words for how upset I am for Bruce's poor treatment of you lately. I wish you well of course with your upcoming surgeries and hope you get the desired result - ie no more diabetes!!!

Be well
Be blessed!

billy pilgrim said...

i saw a tv show where a guy got snatched by a ufo and an alien took his place. the alien was a real asshole and drove his wife crazy.

most men don't mature until their 75th birthday. it might take bruce a while to grow up.

i'm light years away from growing up.

yellowdog granny said...

well, hell!...You know how I feel so I'm not adding more fuel to the fire..but if he had done that to me?...the next time he farted it would be out his ears...cause his head would be up his ass...

that is one beautiful picture....come to west, texas before you go home..ha

kath said...

hah! you are going to be more than just a pretty lady, you will be drop dead gorgeous! Not to mention healthy.

You know, my life has changed so much for the better since I have my own bedroom. I moved out into one of the extra rooms years ago. I have a sanctuary.

I have managed to lose weight too. The pic I put up is months old... I am happier and feeling better, and need to take a new one..

Doncha just love jackie's response? I do!

buddha_girl said...

Sounds like Bruce needs a wake-up call. I don't think the cancer did it.

Fear is his wake-up call.

I think he's much more threatened by you becoming healed than he was by the cancer.

If I'm being too tough on him, so be it.

When I had gastric bypass and lost my ton of weight, my husband was a total ass for quite some time because he was certain that I would leave him. I finally told him that while I didn't NEED HIM, I did WANT HIM and that he could make some choices to act on that or leave immediately. I can't stand it when people are self-pitying fools. Gah!

sageweb said...

Wow, Bruce might be being a dick cuz he is insecure about the future..that is what boys do. Hope everything works out.

texlahoma said...

I like the picture a lot. It gave me a positive feeling right away and I'm glad to here you sounding more positive yourself. Change can be hard but it can also be very good.

tsduff said...

I know I left a comment - I wonder where it went?

Anyway, first off, your picture is fabulous! Makes a California-born girl want to go see Minnesota in person - which is quite a feat itself :)

Second - I have no words for someone who would actually fart in a person's face. Very crass.

Third - Congrats on your decision to have the surgery! I'm all for it - you deserve a good life as much as anyone else, and this sounds like the healthiest, happiest choice. All my best.