Wednesday, August 9, 2006

Second Day Home

Rocky mentioned something about weight loss from the C diff shits. No weight loss, in fact they loaded me up with fluids because of the dehydration. Fifteen pounds of excess water on board. I had to wear Bruces shoes to go out yesterday, men’s size 11 and they were tight. My bra doesn’t fit. My pants don’t fit. I’m in a helluva mess with this shit.

I’m still running a fever of 101. I’m still shitting my heart out. I’m barely eating. AND I’M GETTING FATTER BY THE MINUTE! I know it’s freakish. I got a call into the primary care doc. I’m demanding something to take the water retention down.

My sisters aren’t here yet. Expecting them sometime today.

I’m thinking about Leo’s last response and he pretty much said what I’m thinking. Mr. Bruce said I should print it out.

And I’m waiting on my biopsy August 21st at 8:00 am. Cancer, no cancer. Mr. Bruce and I have talked intimately about if it comes out to be positive. He said he would shave his head for me…seeing he’s already bald, it was funny at the time. Then I asked him would he shave his mustache for me? Now the mustache was a different story. Not the mustache. Love only goes so far, hehehehe.

Then the surgery to remove the lymph nodes. That doesn’t bother me so much. But all of it together with this illness is a great burden and I thank the Creator for my sisters having the ability to stay here with me through it all. I love my sisters. I’m their baby sister and ya’ll know how you feel about your baby sisters. You gotta love them. :0

I got on the exercise bike and I could only do 6 minutes in my present physical state. I guess what is bothering me is the fact Mr. Bruce is getting stronger and he walks so much better and he is doing so good and then there’s me and he will go on and on and maybe without me and that scares me. I’m still on the dark side a little bit. I am trying to stay positive but it’s really hard when none of your clothes fit and you just keep shitting and running fevers. This is the worst fucking case of Clostridium Difficile ever!

Enough whining. My chubby little fingers hurt. They are swollen to the size of polish sausages and who doesn’t like polish sausage? hehehehehe

oxoxoxoxoxoxo to all my fellow bloggers, peace and love.

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