I set some goals for myself today because if I didn't I would sink into such a depression nothing would save me.
First goal I didn't know was a goal but was a dream. I was sleeping a wonderful Oxy sleep, dreaming I was running off of the highest roof to kill myself. I got to the edge and my thought was hell yes jump. And I jumped. I landed in a heap at the bottom but didn't die just woke up and thought damn that myth wasn't true.
Goal 1) OK it's 11:00am and you're just waking up and what do you want to do? A shower was a good answer, so I got showered and dressed with shoes and everything.
Goal 2) Feed the piggies and clean out their cage and give them fresh water. I got that done.
Goal 3) Go for a walk outside. Go at least a 1/4 of a mile and back. I did it. It felt good.
Goal 4) NO MORE OXY for pain. NONE. Dumped the bottle out. I've seen what prolonged use of the drug can do and I was falling into the pits of it. I haven't had a oxy since 10:00pm last night. I was taking them every 4 hours.
Goal 5) Too make more goals for the day...maybe go back to work at the hospital for one day just to see how I do.
Goal 6) Try and visit some other blogs today. :)