Wednesday, March 26, 2008


I set some goals for myself today because if I didn't I would sink into such a depression nothing would save me.

First goal I didn't know was a goal but was a dream. I was sleeping a wonderful Oxy sleep, dreaming I was running off of the highest roof to kill myself. I got to the edge and my thought was hell yes jump. And I jumped. I landed in a heap at the bottom but didn't die just woke up and thought damn that myth wasn't true.

Goal 1) OK it's 11:00am and you're just waking up and what do you want to do? A shower was a good answer, so I got showered and dressed with shoes and everything.

Goal 2) Feed the piggies and clean out their cage and give them fresh water. I got that done.

Goal 3) Go for a walk outside. Go at least a 1/4 of a mile and back. I did it. It felt good.

Goal 4) NO MORE OXY for pain. NONE. Dumped the bottle out. I've seen what prolonged use of the drug can do and I was falling into the pits of it. I haven't had a oxy since 10:00pm last night. I was taking them every 4 hours.

Goal 5) Too make more goals for the day...maybe go back to work at the hospital for one day just to see how I do.

Goal 6) Try and visit some other blogs today. :)


sageweb said...

Oxy is bad. I hope you dont have to suffer with the pain tho. You have made some great goals...keep it up.

Rainwolf said...

Sounds much more productive than my day.

yellowdog granny said...

im so proud of rock!
every day is hard for you and you just keep going.....kick some ass...

buddha_girl said...

I'm amazed by you every day. One of my brother in laws got hooked on the ole Oxy. He had to go through a detox center in order to get off of it. Bad detox reaction. BAD.

I'm SO glad you visited my bloggy today! I may send you some prison popcorn just for shits and giggles!

billy pilgrim said...

goal 7 - pet turtle.

tell bruce to get you a pet turtle.

Nit Wit said...

When I came home from the Hospital the last time with the abscess the little bag of antibiotics had a surprise in it. A bottle of 90 Oxy even though he knew I hated any kind of pain pills. I put them in the drawer with the rest of my meds. About a week later having taken none I looked at the bottle and it was missing 12. I took it and dumped it down the john. I have two Stepdaughters and one suffers from migraines and her boyfriend has a messed up back.
The only time I took pain meds in the hospital was just before they changed my dressing.
Looking at what they did to you I think I would not mind a pain pill every 5 or 10 minutes though.
Goals are good but meeting them is the best. Stay strong.
It's past my bedtime.

Allan said...

My mom used to give me her Oxy.
In hindsight, that wasn't such a good thing.

tsduff said...

Never had it - probably never will. You did great to get rid of it... my late husband OD'd on his pain pills after a knee replacement... it killed him.

Juanuchis said...

Oxy is hateful shit. Legal heroin, really. I'm SO glad you tossed that shit!