I Don’t know What To Do!

I got home from work this morning at 8:00 am. I tried to fall a sleep but couldn’t waiting for the RN to call. She promised this morning. I wait till 11am and I give in and call her. She’s annoyed with me calling. It’s only been 5 fucking weeks. She tells me she left work early and didn’t wait for the fax to come through from MRI Doc’s. She tells me she won’t get back to that office until 1:30 pm and she will call me then.

In the mean time my sister Lee is as nervous as I am and she calls me and when I tell her about what happened she gets angry and tells me I need to get angry and I need to demand answers. I’m tired, I haven’t slept all night because of work. I’m over tired because of everything. When I’m over tired I cry easily. I think the 5 weeks of antibiotics has started to rip my stomach apart, I have a constant stomach ache.

I get a little emotional and I call my primary Doc. I tell him everything that’s happened. All the stops and stalls. All the running around I had to do to pick up old mammogram ex rays and getting them to MIR Doc’s. I tell him I am tired and sick and how frustrating this is and why can’t someone just tell me. He promises me he will get to the bottom of it by tomorrow. He tells me he will talk to the other Doc personally. I also tell him I signed a permission slip for him to talk to my sister Lee. I tell him she called and the secretary was rude to her and said she could find no such permission slip. He tells me to hang on, he comes back and says it’s right here in your file.

I call Lee back and I tell her it’s OK for her to call him, that he found the slip. She calls him and really gives him a piece of her mind. She calls me back and tells me what was said.

In the mean time 1:30 pm has come and gone with no phone call back from RN. I’m just falling a sleep and my phone rings, it’s now 2:30 pm. It’s RN and she tells me they can’t do a reading of MRI until they have a current mammogram. What the fuck? I went last week to do this but they wouldn’t take me because you didn’t send them or fax them the orders and when they tried your office no one answered. And MIR people said last years was OK so I went and got it and brought it to them now they are saying they need a more current one? She says I got you an appointment for 2:30 pm tomorrow for a mammogram. Are you sure you sent the orders so when I get there again they won’t turn me away? She seems indignant that I would ask such a question.

Two minutes after I hang up the mammogram people call and tell me about my appointment, they ask me to bring last years film back because the radiologist will need it to compare to the new one. Last year mammogram is at MIR place, I don’t have it, could you pick it up when you come tomorrow? FUCK NO. I am so fucking tired of this fucking bullshit. I then dump on her. I said both doctors have their heads up their asses and neither one is on the same page as me. She felt my pain and said she would have a currier pick it up not to worry. Both Doc’s promised me an answer by Monday afternoon. In the mean time another week and weekend has gone by. Monday will be the start of week 6.

Lee wants to fly me home to Minnesota and have me go to her doctor’s at the Mayo Clinic. She wants this tomorrow. I have to work tonight I tell her and she says I am wasting precious time. I told Bruce if my doctors don’t have an answer by Monday afternoon I will have to find another form of treatment. I’m very tired and frustrated I don’t know what I should do. I know better then anyone time is wasting. I don’t see how I can pick up and just go to Minnesota. I’m very confused.

As I was finishing up this post my primary care Doc called. He said the MIR showed three small tumors in the right boob and two small tumors in the left. They want me to have the mammogram tomorrow to see if they show up on that. Next stop going to Hartford to get a scan that can determine if they are cancer are not without actually cutting into me. So at least I made some progress today and I got that going for me.