I went to work Monday night grave yard shift. I am finding I like the grave yard shift because all the office people and bosses are home in bed. It is so much more peaceful at night. And the dress code is out the window on the night shift. I wore my ragged jeans. Nice and comfortable.
I was working with detox guy who could of been Rock Hudson’s twin brother. Chiseled features, great hair, and he had George Hamilton’s tan. He is 54 years old and absolutely beautiful, teeth straight and white and a killer smile. He just got out, spent 5 days in the ICU detoxing from his favorite alcoholic drink. Five days in ICU is a long time and tells us just how much this guy drank in a day.
I’m sitting by his bed side reading. He wakes up and starts to get out of bed. I block his way. He looks up at me and I smile and ask him where he thinks he’s going? To the bar, across the street he replies with a smile. I motion for help, and me and my co-worker put him back to bed. I start the regular set of questions, do you know where you are? No. You are at ——-’- Memorial Hospital. Do you know when you came in? No. You came in 5 days ago and you have been in ICU for those five days. Do you know how you came in, by police or a family member or on your own steam? No. You came in by ambulance called by the police because you were passed out with your pants down on the bathroom floor of your favorite pub. He smiles and he lies his head back down on his pillow and starts this little boy pout. He asks me do you have a cell phone? Yes. May I use it? No. You can’t use a cell phone in the hospital. I’m not in a hospital. Where are you then? I’m in church. (family guy was on and Peter was talking to the pope in the back ground.) You’re in church? Yes, and I want to say my confession. Now ya’ll know how much I wanted to mess with this guy and hear his confession but I was good and I reminded him of where he really was. He demanded to use the phone. Who are you going to call? The police and I’m going to report you for holding me against my will. The police brought you here. OH, he rethinks his plan. I have to go the bathroom. Pee or poop? Pee. You have a foley in. No I don’t, what’s a foley? So at this point I uncover him and I show him his penis with the tube going in it. His reaction was hilarious. He goes to pull it. I wouldn’t do that if I were you. Why? Because there is a tiny balloon holding the other end of that in your bladder and if you pull it you may rip your bladder and bleed a lot. Not to mention the pain you will be in. He covers himself up and wants the phone to call the police because we have violated his penis.
Come on let’s go? Where we going? Across the street to the bar, you look like you could use a drink.
You are in the hospital detoxing. There is no bar across the street only state forest. You cannot leave. And this went on and on until my shift ended.
All in all he was a pleasant detox that didn’t take a swing at me or talk dirty to me. And I shook his hand and I thanked him for being a lovable detox guy and making my shift an easy one.
Tomorrow I go to the surgeon’s at 10:00 am and he will tell me what is next and I’ll keep you informed.
Mr. Bruce is riding the stationary bike for 20 minutes so he’s doing great.
The sun is shinning and I have the rest of the day to paint, so I got that going for me and I have my fellow bloggers whom I love, which is really a wonderful blessing everyday.