Saturday, January 24, 2009

Nose Dive & Other Stuff

Went for a walk last night with Trina. I hit a icy spot and I swear to god it was like a cartoon feet were going back and forth so fast and I was trying to catch my balance and I could feel myself falling forward and then it went in slow motion for me...all I could think of was save the new boobs. Do not land on the new boobs! Do not puncture the new boobs! They aren't even a year old and they are hardly used, so save the boobs! My arms shot out in front of me and absorbed the biggest part of the impact. I was laughing so hard when I hit the ground. Trina kept asking me are you OK? I could tell by the sound of her voice she was scared I had hurt myself but I told her if I had hurt myself I wouldn't be laughing this hard. I didn't even knock the wind out of my sails because I was laughing so hard.

Today my arms feel like I have been weight lifting. Muscles hurt. My back hurts and my left ribs hurt. But hey the boobs are intact and good! Damn I'm glad it was dark and no body saw me fall. when I told Bruce the story he said "save the ta ta's." great minds think a like. :)))

That was a day ago. I was watching Rocky and he got up and ran those stairs and I thought if Rocky can do it you can do it so get off your ass and go. Today it's minus 25 but I put on my long underwear, my ski mask, my big boots, my warm jacket with fur hood up and I went walking. I asked my son to come with but he said hell no it's too cold. Hello, you live in Minnesota, it's fucking cold here and you had better get used to it if you ever want to go out side. So this 55 year old woman went out and walked 3 miles. Coming home I walked right past their house and just kept walking...I was deep in thought when I looked up and realized I had walked right past their house. Maybe my subconscious was saying you really don't want to go back there do?, you just keep walking.

Mr. Bruce has booked a flight out for me. I am flying home April 2, 2009. It can't come soon enough. My son's surgery was approved and he is meeting with his surgeon on Monday and they will give him a surgery date. Sometime the end of February. Yeah baby! I informed them both I am leaving here on April 2, 2009. I was supposed to be here until May but cut it as short as I could.

Don't get me wrong I love my kids dearly. I raised them to be good human beings. Basically they are good...just not to me. Sad. It was a very rude awakening this trip. Those of you who have been reading me for a few years know the heartache I had at being torn in two. Always wanting to come home to Minnesota but not wanting to leave Bruce and his family. It took this trip and these months out here to show me you can never go home again. I have been here 3 months and my daughter Amy called me for the first time today. I have called her almost daily leaving messages. She has call ID so I know she knows it's me. This hurts. I can't even begin to say how it hurt me the way I was so unappreciated by my son and his lovely wife. My baby Boo calls me every three days and we get along so good. She is staying in Maine. She said to me "Mom you need to take care of you and if your not happy there you need to come back home." How can a mom have three kids and only be appreciated by one of them? They were all raised the same. I don't get it.

Any way I am counting down to April 2, 2009. It can't come soon enough. I will miss Piper and my sister Lee the most. They have been the kindest to me.

As of this writing I have gone from 235 pounds to 154 pounds. My blood pressure was 100/60, my blood sugar was 80...I am healthier, the numbers prove it. Yeah me!


texlahoma said...

Shelly thinks I'm kind of "out there" with the things I believe and don't believe and some of the conspiracy websites that I go to. I'm going to love telling her I have "a follower"! She'll think I'm starting a cult. :)
Man, I didn't realize how much weight you lost and how healthy you are now, way to go!
Your daughter's advice sound good to me.
Hey, at least you raised your son well enough to know not to go out in -25 degree weather if you don't have to.
April will be here before you know it.

(April is the name of the pizza delivery girl, I ordered one about 20 minutes ago.)

yellowdog granny said... little dakota so proud of you..wish medicare would pay for me to have it..along with a breast reduction(back aches)..i could care less about how i look, but for health reasons i'd love to have it done.go home girl..go home...and no one understands better than me with the kid situation..mojo is the only one of my 3 speaking to me..jenny the granddaughter still has her feathers ruffled and i wont kiss her ass to make it better..too fucking old for that kind of crap. it's 28 degrees here..but it was 80 yesterday..weird texas weather...wish you could come down for a visit..but either make it spring or westfest time..going to see you yet..

billy pilgrim said...

i think they treat you like crap because they've got away with it for years.

today is the first day of the rest of your life. quit being rodney dangerfield as of today!

Nit Wit said...

If you have one kid treating you like a person then you are ahead of the curve.
About 12 years ago we had all my brothers, Father and step mom, mother and stepdad plus all the inlaws together for 4th of July.
I asked my stepdad (my favorite relitive) how it was to have everyone there. He said this, You know, I worked all my life to provide the best home I could to all my kids and stepkids and they all moved on to their own lives. The only trouble is they keep coming back. That same morning my wife found me in my den. I had been drinking beer over night after working the holiday rush of wienie and hamburg buns. She asked me why I was crying. I told her it was because it was the last time we would all be together. I'm sorry to say I was right so I got my crying out all at once.
I have a 30 year old stepdaughter and my youngest son is 18. I would love it if they went off to find their own paths instead of following mine. Though I can't get enough of the grandkids.
I'm glad you are posting. I didn't check for a while i'm sorry to say and am trying to catch up now.
Save the Ta Tas! The insurance company will get mad if you pop one.
You are getting to skinny to talk to me at 240.

Mama Kelly said...

I am glad that you're doing so well health-wise and that you didn't hurt yourself when you fell.

I wish that your kids were nicer to you. I hope that life is good when you get home, though I know how much you'll miss Piper!


sageweb said...

I am happy for how heatlhy you are..and your daughter is right..take care of yourself.

tsduff said...

You ROCK! Walking, falling (save the ta tas... WAY FUNNY) losing so much weight... you are a great story with many good endings :) Stay warm and keep up the great work (yes, WORK) ;)