Tuesday, May 20, 2008

What Can I Say?

What can I say? It's been a while.

On Mothers day we took my sister-in-law Candy to the hospital. She hadn't urinated in 36 hours. She refused to go any earlier. She was admitted with a white blood count of .09, meaning almost nill for fighting off infections. The doc and nurses were having a hard time with her port. Turns out the port was infected. They could not remove it until the infection was under control. She also had a UTI. Her blood pressure dropped the next day to 83/45. She was moved to ICU. I was at her house helping her husband Brian clean it up.

Brian, Candy and I all work at the same hospital. Brian and Candy have always worked nights. I work second shift and some nights. So it was hard for Brian to take care of Candy, work nights and keep the house clean. Brian is Bruce's brother. My Mr. Bruce.

Candy is hospitalized at the hospital we work at. They didn't even call us to tell us she had been moved to ICU. I stopped by there on my way home from Brian's and when I went to her room it was empty. Well you all know what I thought had happened. I go to the Nurses desk...where is Candy? They all give me this look, you know the look...we can't tell you. You'll have to talk to her nurse. Christ we are all like family at the little hospital and here I was being treated like they don't even know me. This just pisses me off.

I call Brian who had gone to bed to try and get some sleep before coming into work. They moved Candy to ICU. What? They didn't call me. I know. Her blood pressure dropped too low and that is why they moved her. Thanks for calling me.

Candy was in ICU for a week. They moved her back on to the med surge floor on Sunday. I went to visit her. I brought her the biggest chocolate cup cake I could find. She smiled at me.

I showed her my ring from 5 years of blood sweat and tears that the hospital gave me. I asked her do you think it's too flashy trashy? She smiled and said no. I knew then she was OK. Candy loves big jewelry. This ring is flashy and trashy and just not my style.

I got the painting of a heart above, my header picture from my daughter Amy. It was her first oil painting. She sent it to me UPS. It made me cry. When I look at it I see a heart made beautiful from pain and suffering. That is the feeling it invokes in me.

I probably won't be around for a while. My surgery date is June 4th, 2008. I will be home then for a few weeks and I will try to be more active here. Can't promise. You see the depression is wanting to take over again and I'd rather stay away then bring you with me through the depression. JS knows this about me but loves me anyway. XOXOXOXOXO to all my friends.


yellowdog granny said...

damn your family has been having a bad go of it ...
just think..when you have your operation you will really be able to do the 'chin up tits out'...i will be in austin at the democrat convention but will try and call you...i love you my friend...

billy pilgrim said...

sorry to hear about candy, she's lucky to have a sister in law like you.

did you ever send me that e-mail?

i need your address to send you a song.

Anonymous said...

sorry about your sis-in-law I hope she's out of the hospital soon.

Im also sorry to read that youve been coping with depression {{{{ }}}}

Good luck getting your new boobies


tsduff said...

We're with you thick and thin. I'll be thinking of you when you are in surgery, and knowing all will be okay. Big Bear Hugs to you in the days to come.

Juanuchis said...

You're a blessing to Candy and all your family and friends!

I'm in the grip of depression too, always have been. Email me if you wish!