Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Coming in on August 2014

I love my blog. It holds a lot of my past. My love, my happiness. my grief over my daughter's death, my cancer, my surgeries...it holds a lot of me and when I am gone and floating on the breeze it will still be here somewhere in cyber space. The world in which we live.

So many emotions held in a screen and key board. How sad is my life that I spent most of my time here or there? Not too sad. I have met some wonderful people over the years. Still friends through how many new computers? I have lost count. Now I have my lap top which Mr. McLeod is not allowed on. That was a lesson learned over and over the hard way. So much happier with my lap top. MINE. Nothing on here but what I want. If you are married I would highly recommend you each have your own computers. It will save you many fights. I should have done this years ago. Years.

I am back today because some how this always feels like home. I can be gone for years and I come back and it's like I never left.

This is that hard week for me. Although after 13 years it is easier. Gentler. August 8, her birthday. August 11th her death date. I text her baby sister Boo in Kauai, Hawaii, that late Thursday night a hurricane is headed her way according to the news. I told her that is no hurricane, it was going to be Ricki blowing in on her birthday to say hi to her Nanny. She always called her Nanny not Boo like the rest of us. Hurricane Ricki, like how she lived and died and left me here to pick up the pieces...

I love you. I love you. I love you.

7 comments:

billy pilgrim said...

i've got something clever and compassionate on the tip of my tongue but for the life of me, it just won't come to me.

i have 2 magic words that get me through most things, auto pilot. just turn off your conscious brain and put every thing on auto pilot. my auto pilot works way better than that crappy old defective over rated piece of meat in my skull.

peppylady (Dora) said...

Sorry for all your lost. I haven't experience your type of lost.

But even sometime for me writing
(blogging) and hope some one of kindred spirit. Will understand and even if we never meet.

Coffee is on

texlahoma said...

I'm sorry that you had to go through that. I almost lost my daughter and that date is stuck in my head, even though everything turned out okay.

You, and several other people on Blogger feel like friends, even though I've never met them in person. They were making fun of people like that on the radio the other day, they don't understand - we go way back.

McRaven said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
McRaven said...

We go way back to the beginning. Billy, Tex, JackieSue, Rocky....way way back. People make fun of stuff they know nothing about. It's a coping thing for the ignorant. I love you guys. :

JACKIESUE said...

you know I love you and I am always here for you..

texlahoma said...

McRaven - Right back at you!

(I've been sidelined for a few days with a nasty virus, turns out it wasn't Ebola after all, I was beginning to wonder! All is well now though.)