Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Random, Scattered Thoughts Of An Old Lady

I am an Old lady. A senior. I'm what you would call a late bloomer. These are my scattered thoughts this cloudy morning. People talk about writing with flowing words, that your words should flow with rhythm. Damn. I like writing but words never ever flowed for me. My writing is like my life, somewhat choppy, messy and sad with moments of sheer happiness but for the most part, cloudy with periods of down pours.

 I even bought myself a Webster's book on Vocabulary to help improve my writing. I still suck at spelling, grammar and run on sentences. In school I excelled in reading and comprehension. It's just the writing it down part. I have a learning disability. No excuse though. Now I am 60 almost 61 and it really is no better. 

As I have aged I have been making myself more aware of my thoughts. Mindfulness. I also have toned myself down. I am listening more with my mouth shut. I am praying more. I am walking away more rather then or than get into a confrontation. Then and Than my learning disability is when I look at those two words I see left and right, my mind process it different then and than yours. Do you see what I mean? I see a lot of bashing on the internet for people using these words wrong. Makes me feel bad because try as I might MY brain doesn't work the way of the English language. And I just would like to write but I am stifled because of this and not wanting to appear stupid I stay limited. But my friends here have never minded my English or the way I write for the most part.

 I am Native American and I grew up in a house full of wild Indians. My parents were French speaking. They had broken English and my Aunts and Uncles were Native speaking, my parents also,  but were ashamed of their Native blood so French it was and I went to a very Catholic school where phonics was beaten into you. No wonder I am so fucked up with English language.

All this and I have not said a word about what is really in my heart this morning. Please almighty Creator make him be okay. You can't do this to me twice, you just can't. I am not strong enough. your humble servant Nancy.


billy pilgrim said...

lots of my posts have several errors and i usually don't notice them until a few days have passed. if i proof read right after writing something i miss most mistakes. i guess in my mind i'm reading one thing and thinking a different thing.

but who gives a shit, this isn't school and we won't be graded. ruby has never held any of this against me and her opinion means more to me than any asshole who feels compelled to point our my errors.

oh yeah, sixty is the new forty. at least that's what i keep telling myself.

McRaven said...

Leo Billy I feel 80. Thanks for visiting and commenting. It is appreciated. :) I am sort of fed up with English. They, their, them, than, then, bear, bare,tear drop or tear a hole...wtf anyway? It is seriously screwed up. My opinion. Good to see you again Turtle man. ;)Listening to any good music?

texlahoma said...

I was raised in a house where only English was spoken, so the then/than thing is natural to me, but spelling? All I can say is thank God for spell check or my spelling ignorance would become abundantly clear to everyone.
I can only speak English though, a tiny bit of Spanish and German, I couldn't speak French to save my life.

McRaven said...

Text most of my errors are from just tiredness. I will spot them later and fix them sometimes. Depends on my mood. lol

peppylady (Dora) said...

I have no trouble reading your blog. It just fine.

We spoke McCalmanties in my family (mother side) every one is going 90 miles an hour (ADD) and so is there mouth. Every just run together.

My Uncle Mike who worked in saw mill for ages. Had some big wigs stop in and wonder which country he came from.
Uncle Mike came from Mid West and move to Idaho when he was about 16 or so

Coffee is on

McRaven said...

Most of us are just humble human beings trying to survive in a really tough world...we have made it this far. :)


My brain goes waccko and I will spell quit for quiet,,or things like that..thank the Goddess for spellcheck