Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Been Gone A While

I've been gone a while. Missing in action. I feel like I am not worthy most of the time anyway because I neglect my friends here. I really don't mean to and it makes me feel bad. I am sorry. You all have been with me through so much, the good times and the hard times. I thank you. I love you. It's just that simple.

I've been home for almost 3 weeks. My daughter Boo has been with me the last week. She left this morning and she cried so hard. She has left several times from visits with me and never cried. This one was different. She is growing tired of good-byes. She wants to make a permanent home with no more good-byes. She is headed to Minnesota. I told her to stay put when she gets there. Make a home and I will come visit. Her friend Jason bumped a shelf and my little Native girl spirit guide fell and her wings broke off. Boo started crying harder and said that was a bad sign. "Oh no your spirit guide is broken." I made lite of it and said ya, but look at her face she is still smiling and I got the super glue out and Jason glued her wings on and you couldn't even tell she was broken. So it was good. I then gave her a hawk wing I had dried and said the Hawks will take care of her and I smudged her with sage smoke and we prayed for her safe journey. I am going to miss her something crazy. Of my children she holds me in her arms and loves me, really loves me as I am, imperfect and human. She respects my life and my knowledge. She truly loves me. She excepts me for me and there is no wall between us or conditions. It is a true mother, and child connection.

Awww damn I am so freakin emotional. My niece Terra told my daughter Amy..."you know how your mother is, those artist types are always emotional. I need to go have a good cry, get it out of my system. I am gonna miss that baby girl of mine something firece.


billy pilgrim said...

the world needs more boos.

yellowdog granny said...

cherish it..not everyone has that relationship with their kids..I'd kill for a phone call from my son. glad your home..missed ya..

tsduff said...

That daughter is fecking gorgeous - you lucky Mama :) Cherish our kids - those of us who are lucky enough to have them ;)

buddha_girl said...

Relish the moments when your adult child will openly cry with you. There aren't very many of us who will cry with our parents these days. No idea why.

I'm a crier.
And laugher.
And screamer.
And talker.

Maybe my Mom wants to muzzle me.