The Doctors

Yesterday was my first post op visit. The doc put in 50cc of saline water into each boob. Bruce was so excited it was pretty funny. The doc said the drains had to stay in one more week.

So we get home and Bruce says can I touch? Touch what I ask? He says the swell of your breast at the top. Hu? I have a swell at the top of what used t be my breast? Ya and it's kind of sexy.

Sure go for it. The man had a smile that lasted for an hour.

So next Monday we go in again and get another 50 cc of saline water. I asked the doc how many too go before we put in the real implant? She says 350 cc.,after next week she said it will feel uncomfortable, tight and start to stretch. Then we will come in every two weeks for a fill of 50 ccs until we hit the 350 mark. After that I will have to decide saline implants or silicone. My sister Lee has saline and when you hug her they are as hard as rocks. They look fantastic but are hard.

The doc gave me lots of stuff to read about silicone and it's now what they call 3rd generation silicone. Safer if it leaks. But from what I read leaks average about the same as silicone vs saline water. Silicone feels so much more realistic. So I am tending to go with a good size C cup and silicone.

I trust my doc and she knows the hell I'm going though right now and wouldn't steer my wrong.

I'm still swollen and bruised and I hurt to move. I take my pain med and I wait 20 minutes for it to start working so I can get up and feel productive. I then fall asleep and I wake up and the cycle starts over. So this part of the recovery sucks.

I have an appointment with my breast surgeon Doc Holly on Thursday. We will discuss the one lymph node that came back with cancer. I'm looking forward to that chat .

I've lost my appetite. It's upsetting to Bruce. You need to eat to get better. He made the best dinner and all I could get down was a chicken wing, one piece of broccoli and a half of ear of corn. I'm just hitting the down side of this and don't feel like doing much of anything but sleep.

So why am I up at 1:47AM WRITING THIS? wtfdik?

Yeah It's Me ...

OK I got all the links to work. Not bad for a chick who is on morphine, Valium and Tramadol just for good measure.

The Doc added the Tramadol because of what happened to me the other night. You see although morphine is a wonderful pain killer it can cause some pretty good or bad dreams. I have drains coming out of my sides. Both sides. So I can't sleep on my sides. I can't sleep in a bed so I sleep in a recliner. Well the other night I was having a morphine night mare. It was night terror so strong I could not move or speak from fright. All I can tell ya was I wanted out of that fucking chair now!

Too make a long story short I got out of that chair, sortta pulled a drain too hard and woke up Mr. Bruce scaring the shit out of him. You are dreaming Nancy! Get me the fuck out of here...

Well I finally woke up and I had hurt or twisted my back somehow in my rampage to get out of that chair and so Tramadol was added to my pain cocktail. The drain was fixed and restitched and now Bruce is sleeping on the couch right next to me so I don't freak out in my sleep and pull anything else.

My back hurt so much yesterday that he came home from work early to help me to wash up or sneak a shower. He taped the drains with water proof tape and I stood in the shower and I let the water gods wash all the crap and negativity off of me and I felt like a new person.

I go to see Dr. Johnson tomorrow at 10:30 am. She's the plastic surgeon who is giving me the nice firm c cup I want, up high and round. Soon as they are done you will see a picture I promise!This picture is not the most flattering picture of me but it's real and was taken this morning. I did it for JackiSue mostly. I need the pillow to hug for pain. and after this is over I am going to kill the chair.

OK thats it for now. Kisses & hugs to every body!

Morphine Dreams

So yeah, I'm up and sitting at the computer.

I'm on a hefty dose of morphine every four hours plus Valium to take the edge off. I never knew I had edges I always thought I was round.

It took me the better part of my consciousness to add a few new friends. I felt like I was zipping along but no I wasn't and it is now noon and the visiting nurse is on her way to look at my scares and drains and various holes that have stuff coming out of them. My left boob removal left a scare 21 inches, how the fuck cool is that?

It might be the morphine but I would love to play the scare game with someone. Oh yeah, well look at this one...

Hey my phone rang and it was my Doctor. The lymph node biopsies came in. The left side is clean. Wooooowho! The right side showed a very small carcinoma in one of the nodes. They removed it. So today I'm sitting up at my PC adding some new friends and life is fucking great as far as my feelings go. I love you man, all of you. I may have to do a little chemo. I needed a haircut anyway. :)

Peace out and have a great fucking day in the best way! Hugggsss!

All the new links I added don't work and I'm too tired to try and fix them right now. I will fix them though sonner or later. At least I tried...